Rise and shine, pleasure seekers!
Sarah Douglass here, editor-in-chief of PSYN Media and founder of Pussynomics. Pleasure takes many forms — and this week, it’s poured straight from the bottle. From all of us at PSYN, may your week be full-bodied, fearless, and just a little fizzy. xx.
This morning we’re waking up with Megumi Calver — a writer, strategist, and certified sommelier serving bold pours and sharper truths. She’s the founder of Merobebe, a sharp, soulful platform where ambitious women gather through wine, real talk, and unapologetic connection. Quoted in Forbes and Wine Enthusiast, Megumi blends hospitality and storytelling to create spaces where women can be bold, brilliant, and wholly themselves. Whether she’s curating a 90+ point tasting or penning her weekly newsletter, Megumi is redefining what it means to lead—with flavor, confidence, and community. Let’s dive in…
What’s your earliest memory of pleasure—sexual or otherwise?
I grew up in a very performance-oriented family in Tokyo. Straight A’s were the norm, I played the violin and piano, and was competing nationally as a figure skater by the third grade. Even now, I feel the need to not only perform but control the outcome (yes, I’m a bit of a control freak). That’s why one of my earlier memories of pleasure is actually tied to losing control in the best way.
My family would go skiing in Niigata, Japan in the winters, and I remember waking up early one morning to be the first one out on the mountain. The snow was untouched, and I pointed my skis straight down the slope. I didn’t do any turning or pizza-ing, and I remember flying down the mountain squealing and laughing from the adrenaline and thrill. I still love doing this when I go skiing!
Right now, what’s turning you on—culturally, creatively, or sexually?
Lately, what’s turning me on is novelty in wine, food, and setting (whether it’s a new city or a new restaurant).
I was in New York recently and went to Lei Wine Bar in Chinatown with some friends. It’s a new spot with a diverse wine list and incredible Chinese food! I had a delicious skin-contact Greek wine I’d never tried before that was beautifully pink, and we shared celtuce salad (also a first for me), cumin-lamb cat ear noodles, and short rib that melted in your mouth.
We were sitting outside, tasting and smelling all of these new flavors while catching up and laughing. It’s a mental and physical experience that brings me great pleasure.
Do you have a ritual, tool, or practice that helps you connect to your own pleasure?
I recently stumbled onto audio porn! It all started when the algorithm sent me to BookTok, which led me to men with deep, sexy voices reading spicy lines from romance novels. Next thing you know, I’m downloading Quinn.
There’s a range of voices (female, male, nonbinary), high-quality sound design, and apparently, some of them are not just acting, if you catch my drift. Most tracks are 15–20 minutes and the tags are very specific and diverse, with everything from “friends with benefits” to “British accent” to “first date” or “halloween.” It is a monthly subscription, but you can check out their TikTok to get a little preview (headphones highly recommended!).
What do you wish people talked about more openly when it comes to sex & pleasure?
So often, pleasure is sold to women as something we buy. Like a hot stone massage at the luxury spa, a Mediterranean vacation with an Aperol spritz in hand, or even a $200 vibrator. I recently saw a rose quartz toy that claimed to get you off and bring peace to your heart and soul. Sure.
I’m not saying I’m against toys (or a Mediterranean vacation)!
I just think women deserve more space to ask: What actually brings me pleasure? What am I savoring because I decide I like it, not because it’s trending on TikTok or a celebrity swears by it?
As women, we’re constantly being sold something to make us look and feel “sexier” (whatever that means). But what if we could find pleasure in our current bodies and our current lives?
So yes, absolutely book that spa day and get that toy! But I’d love to hear less from beauty and fashion CEOs telling me what’s a turn on, and more from real women reclaiming what pleasure means to them.
If we peeked at your “pleasure playlist,” what’s on it?
My best friend and I made a “hook-up playlist” in high school that we jokingly called WIB (Working Out in Bed.) It got lost when iTunes died (RIP), but I recently re-created it and it’s mostly full of early 2000s R&B.
A few staples: “Slow” by Jamie Foxx; “Bed” by J. Holiday; “No Love” by August Alsina & Nicki Minaj; “Pony” by Ginuwine (obviously). Lah Pat’s “Rodeo” is a modern update if you want to mix it up!
What’s one myth or misconception about pleasure you’d love to debunk?
“Men want sex more than women.”
Honestly, the older I get and the more I talk to my friends honestly about sex, the more I realize we’ve been lied to. I know so many women with higher sex drives and deeper cravings for intimacy than men, but we’ve been conditioned to be quiet or feel ashamed of it.
Meanwhile, men are taught that wanting and having sex makes them masculine. Men who sleep around are studs, while women who do the same are sluts.The double standard is exhausting. This dynamic is also a disservice for all of us:
Women feel shamed (or are silenced) for their desires and needs
Men who struggle with desire or performance feel like they can’t talk about it
Let’s all be more open and vulnerable about what we want, so we can all have better sex with less shame.
What’s one lesson you’ve learned on your pleasure journey that you’d want others to know?
I used to treat pleasure like dessert: something that had to be earned (and even then, enjoyed with some calorie-counting guilt). I was so focused on being “chill” and low-maintenance, and making sure everyone else felt good, that my own pleasure often came last.
But a childhood friend recently told me I need to be more selfish. Meaning, I need to put what I want, and my pleasure, first. So now, instead of viewing pleasure just as a reward, I’m trying to start viewing it as a compass. What are the things that light me up, turn me on, and make me feel alive? What makes me feel more me?
I’m learning that my own desire doesn’t make me selfish. It helps me be more honest and whole to both myself and the people in my life. Plus, I'm learning to pause and enjoy the small moments everyday. Sometimes it's okay to eat dessert first!
✨ Megumi Calver’s Plug
She’s is the founder of Merobebe, a community redefining how women connect, grow, and lead — through the shared language of wine. Featured in Forbes and Wine Enthusiast, she recently hosted a sold-out NYC tasting that guests called “energizing,” “inspiring,” and “unforgettable.” She’s back on Thursday, December 4 in Tribeca—don’t miss it (get tickets here!). Follow @megumicalver and subscribe to the Merobebe newsletter for first access to events and her weekly reflections on wine, identity, and power.