Rise and shine, pleasure seekers!
This morning we’re waking up with Sarah Tomchesson, a certified sexuality educator, intimacy coach, and marketing strategist who’s spent nearly two decades shaping the pleasure industry’s most iconic brands — including Magic Wand, Babeland, and Lovehoney. As Director of Marketing for Magic Wand, Sarah blends education, empowerment, and strategy to make pleasure more accessible and celebrated. Let’s dive in…
What’s your earliest memory of pleasure—sexual or otherwise?
What a sweet prompt! When I was probably 4 or 5 my aunt, who had long nails, would have me lay on the sofa on my belly and give me tickle scratches on my back. The combination of the sensations of the light touches and the sounds of laughter in the background created a sensory feast for little Sarah. My grandmother started giving me tickle scratches before bed. Now, my daughter gets them before she goes to sleep.
Right now, what’s turning you on—culturally, creatively, or sexually?
Creative forms of protest are really doing it for me right now. I live in Los Angeles, which has been heavily targeted by ICE. It is easy to slip into feelings of helplessness when so many people in our communities (and the world) are being targeted.
Los Angelenos are organizing in new and creative ways. Whether it’s making music through the night outside of hotels where ICE agents are staying or using platforms like Nextdoor to rally neighbors to show up when a raid is happening at a local business – people are showing up. Staying engaged with community is definitely a turn-on for me.
Do you have a ritual, tool, or practice that helps you connect to your own pleasure?
Like a lot of people, I have a very busy schedule and it can be challenging to make time for gourmet pleasure experiences as regularly as I would like. My favorite pleasure practice is a simple 5-10 minute visualization that I return to again and again.
I imagine taking an elevator down into my body. When the doors open, I step out into a magnificent garden space that I have cultivated over time in my mind. I call it my pleasure garden. In this space, rules don’t apply so the landscape is a hodgepodge of all of my favorite environments including trees that shed glitter, a hot spring overlooking the ocean, and my perfect lounging spot. I can spend just a few minutes a day here and get some of the same pleasure benefits I feel from an enjoyable outing or a trip to the spa. It’s very relaxing and sensual to spend time in my pleasure garden.
What do you wish people talked about more openly when it comes to sex & pleasure?
Honestly, I just wish we talked about [sex] more in general. I wish there was more awareness that sex is a learned skill. I wish people could turn to their friends, their parents, and their siblings when they had questions about sex. Those of us who can should count ourselves very blessed. The cycle of shame, stigma and confusion surrounding sex and pleasure is perpetuated by a general lack of open dialogue. Discovering what you like, how to ask for it, and how to explore it in a way that is respectful to the other people you are doing it with should not be something to be ashamed about.
If we peeked at your “pleasure playlist,” what’s on it?
My life would not be complete without my Magic Wand (the Mini is my fave), trips to the Korean spa, high-quality water-based lubricants, good spankings, dusty hiking trails, fantasy novels, and drinking wine while cooking dinner with friends.
What’s one myth or misconception about pleasure you’d love to debunk?
One pleasure myth that really gets under my skin is that pleasure has to be earned. The puritanical belief that one’s worth comes from hard work and productivity underpins a lot of the stigma and shame people feel about receiving pleasure. I believe that everyone is deserving of pleasure for simply existing and, in fact, we’re hardwired for it.
What’s one lesson you’ve learned on your pleasure journey that you’d want others to know?
My life has been enriched by expanding my definition of pleasure to include daily pleasures. There’s not one kind of pleasurable experience that’s better than another — your body and brain process all forms of pleasure similarly. When you attune to everyday pleasures, you keep your reward pathway tuned up.
If you’re seeking more pleasure in your life, start with low-stakes pleasure experiences — a walk in nature, savoring your first sip of coffee in the morning, leaning into a long hug. Noticing and receiving pleasure consistently is more nourishing than relegating your pleasure experiences to the occasional peak experience, like a fantasy trip or a session of multi-orgasmic sex.
I’m not saying to ditch those experiences — just don’t let them be your only pleasure explorations. There’s so much more pleasure to be had!
✨ Sarah Tomchesson’s Plug
Learn more about Sarah Tomchesson’s coaching work at sarahtomchesson.com and explore insights from the Magic Wand Wellness Study — highlighting the connection between pleasure, wellbeing, and confidence. Follow Sarah’s work, tune into her podcast Fck Yeah*, and keep up with Magic Wand as they continue redefining what wellness truly means.